Let’s talk about the kind of heartbreak that doesn’t always get taken seriously.
The bowl is still on the floor.
Their bed is still in the corner.
Your brain knows they’re gone, but your heart hasn’t quite caught up yet.
And somehow, you’re expected to carry on like nothing happened, because it was “just a pet.”
If you’re reading this and nodding, take a breath. Pet loss trauma is real. You’re not dramatic, weak, or overreacting. You’re grieving someone who mattered.
Why Losing a Pet Hurts in a Way You Didn’t Expect
Pets slip into our lives quietly. Then one day, they’re everything.
They’re there for your worst days and your best ones. They sit with you when you cry, celebrate when you come home, and love you even when you’re not at your most lovable. (Especially then.)
So when they’re gone, it’s not just sadness, it’s a full-body absence.
Pet loss trauma hurts so deeply because:
- Pets are part of your daily rhythm
- They provide emotional safety and comfort
- Their love is simple, steady, and unconditional
- For many people, they’re a lifeline
Losing that can shake your sense of safety. And yes, that can be traumatic.
What Grief After Losing a Pet Really Feels Like
Pet grief isn’t neat. It doesn’t follow rules. It just shows up. Sometimes at very inconvenient moments.
You might:
- Cry over a photo you weren’t expecting to see
- Feel guilty about decisions you made
- Panic when the house feels too quiet
- Feel numb, then overwhelmed, then both at once
- Laugh at a memory and feel guilty for laughing
That last one? Completely normal. Grief is weird like that.
Why Pet Loss Is So Often Minimized
Here’s the part that makes everything harder: pet bereavement is often dismissed.
People might say:
- “At least they lived a long life.”
- “You can always get another one.”
- “It’s not the same as losing a person.”
And while they might mean well, it can leave you feeling unseen and alone. This kind of grief, called disenfranchised grief, doesn’t get enough space to breathe.
When grief isn’t acknowledged, it doesn’t disappear. It just settles in deeper.
How Therapy Helps With Pet Loss Trauma
Therapy for pet loss gives you something powerful: permission.
Permission to talk about your pet without apologising.
Permission to say, “This really broke my heart.”
Permission to heal at your own pace.
A therapist can help you:
- Work through guilt and “what if” thoughts
- Process painful memories
- Calm anxiety and emotional overwhelm
- Learn how to live with the loss without being consumed by it
Therapy doesn’t erase love. It helps you carry it without constant pain.
How EMDR Therapy Can Help With Pet Loss
If your pet’s death keeps replaying in your mind, EMDR therapy for pet loss can be especially helpful.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) helps your brain process distressing memories differently. Instead of feeling like the loss is happening all over again, the memory becomes less sharp and more manageable.
EMDR can help with:
- Traumatic memories of illness or euthanasia
- Intense guilt or regret
- Anxiety triggered by reminders
- Feeling emotionally stuck or frozen
Many people say EMDR helps them remember their pet with warmth rather than pain. You can learn more about EMDR therapy for pet loss at Juna Brookes.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself While You Heal
There’s no “right” way to grieve, but these small things can help:
- Create a simple ritual or keepsake
- Keep a gentle routine
- Talk about your pet, say their name
- Let yourself smile again without guilt
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to live with love and loss side by side.
Final Thoughts
Pet loss trauma is real, meaningful, and worthy of care. With the right support, especially through grief therapy and EMDR therapy, the pain can soften. The memories grow warmer. Life slowly starts to feel livable again.
And if your pet could say one last thing?
It probably wouldn’t be “move on.”
It would be, “Thank you for loving me.”