Anger is like grasping onto a hot coal – you’re the only one who gets burned.
Most of us have felt angry at least once in our lives. We get stabbed in the back by a friend, someone hits our car on the way to work, or we get passed over for a promotion. Anger is a natural response to a perceived threat. But if we can’t manage and control our anger in healthy ways, it can cause problems in our personal relationships, professional life and our own mental health.
If you’ve been feeling angrier than usual, you’re not alone. According to a survey from the Mental Health Foundation, 28% of people are worried about their anger and 32% of people know at least one family member or friend who has trouble controlling their anger.
Anger management therapy and EMDR can help, but it’s important to understand why you’re feeling so angry.
What Causes Anger Issues?
Anger is a natural response to threats, and it’s not always a bad thing. Anger can help us stand up for ourselves and take action to do something more positive. However, uncontrolled anger or unhealthy anger management can ultimately be destructive and harmful.
When we feel angry:
- Our body releases adrenaline
- Our heart rate and blood pressure rise
- Our muscles tighten
- Our senses are heightened
For some people, the physiological response to anger can make it difficult to control their behaviour.
A variety of things can trigger anger:
- Lack of patience
- Feelings of injustice
- Not feeling heard or appreciated
- Memories of past trauma
- Unmet expectations of yourself or others
Some people were simply not taught how to express or manage their anger in healthy ways.
The Consequences of Uncontrolled Anger
The consequences of uncontrolled and improperly managed anger are far-reaching. Anger can affect your:
- Health: Chronic anger or rage can increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke, suppress your immune system, increase your anxiety and even lead to depression.
- Personal Relationships: Angry outbursts can cause you to say or do things that damage your personal relationships. They can also make others fearful of you and force them to “walk on eggshells” when you’re around. Frequent outbursts can destroy families, friendships and marriages.
- Children: Frequent and intense anger episodes can create a stressful environment for children and affect their mental health in the future.
- Job: Outbursts at work can cost you your job. Anger issues can also make it harder to work with co-workers, damage relationships with team members and lead to resentment in the workplace.
Finding healthy ways to manage and control your anger can help protect your mental health and relationships.
How Anger Management Therapy and EMDR Can Help
If anger issues disrupt your life and make it harder to maintain personal relationships, anger management therapy with EMDR may help.
Often, the response to anger is connected to past trauma. Unfortunately, this trauma hasn’t been properly processed, resolved and integrated into your system. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) may help.
EMDR is a unique kind of therapy that uses eye movement to help your brain process information. The goal is to help the brain process and resolve memories of past trauma that are fuelling your anger issues. By addressing the root cause of the problem, it’s possible to overcome your anger issues and find healthier ways to manage this emotion.
EMDR therapy can help you:
- Become less reactive to situations that would typically trigger angry outbursts
- Think clearly and remain in control of your actions
- Break free from the chains of anger and rage
Recognizing the problem and reaching out for help are the first steps to living a life that isn’t ruled by emotions and anger.
If you’re dealing with unresolved past trauma and anger issues, I’d love to help. Get in touch today to book an appointment.