Suffering from grief is something that many of us struggle with, and it can often feel like an unbearable experience. Knowing what to do when grief is unbearable, though hard, can help you get through this painful and heartbreaking time – and there are people by your side who will be able to help with this.
Today, we’re looking at a few key things you can try to overcome your unbearable grief; after all, while it might seem hopeless now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and with time, you will be able to recover.
How Long Does Severe, Unbearable Grief Last?
Have you ever asked, “how long does severe, unbearable grief last?” It’s a common question when you feel like escaping from grief is impossible.
However, there is no timeline for grief. Some minor grief will only last for a few hours or days. With that being said, unbearable grief is completely normal to last for around a year or longer. We also all experience grief differently; depression, guilt, and shame are common complications, as is heartbreak after the loss of someone close to us.
What to do When Grief is Unbearable
If you’ve been struggling with unbearable grief and don’t know how to proceed, you could try numerous different things. One of the most important things to start with, if you feel you need further support, is to reach out to your friendly local counselor for support. From there, continuing bonds grief therapy is one of the most effective recovery options for unbearable grief.
What Is The Continuing Bonds Grief Theory?
With the continuing bond theory, grief is handled a little differently than normal. Instead of simply moving on from the bonds you previously shared, the continuing bonds grief theory focuses on modifying your relationship instead in order to accept the loss of a loved one.
How to Implement The Continuing Bonds for Unbearable Grief
Continuing bonds can be one of the easiest ways to overcome unbearable grief since you’re not trying to move on from your relationship with the individual – you just change your bond with them. Continuing bonds focus on developing an inner relationship once someone has passed away. There are several ways you can add this to your routine; over time, you may find that this can help ease your mind away from grief and make coping with the loss of a loved one easier.
Continuing Past Hobbies
Just because your loved one is no longer here doesn’t mean you can’t continue enjoying the same hobbies you once shared. Doing so can help reaffirm the relationship between you and your loved one, even when they are gone, making it a little easier to cope with their loss.
In addition to this, if they had certain favourite items or flowers, buying and looking after these can also help; for example, maintaining a collection of their favourite items can help ease your grief during this difficult period.
Visiting Important Locations
Many people have a few important locations that mean a lot to them. Perhaps it’s where you met or somewhere that you used to spend a lot of time together. Whatever the case might be, visiting important locations that you used to share with your loved one can potentially help re-establish a sense of normalcy in your life.
Getting a Tattoo
Is there a tattoo design you’ve always dreamed of getting? Perhaps you discussed it with your loved one before they passed, or maybe you’d like to commemorate their life with a memorial tattoo. These can help you feel closer to your loved one, making their loss a little less painful to endure.
Creating a Craft Piece
Sometimes, putting time into something you’ve made by hand can be one of the simplest yet most effective ways to continue your bond with a loved one. A craft that symbolises their life can allow you time to process their loss while also offering a treasured keepsake that reminds you of their life
Talk to Your Loved One
It might feel silly at first, but taking some time in private to talk with your loved one can be a powerful way to process their loss. Even if they can’t reply to you, closing your eyes and telling them about your day can help make things feel a little less raw and hollow.
Talk About Them
If you have favourite memories of someone special in your life, sharing these with someone else can help you form a new relationship with your loved one – one based on remembering them for the amazing person they were. One of the easiest ways to do this is to share special memories with your counsellor or therapist. They, in turn, will be able to learn who your loved one was from your stories and memories of them.
What is the best therapy for an unberable grief?
Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. The pain and grief can be overwhelming, and it can be hard to know how to cope. If you are struggling with traumatic grief after losing a loved one, EMDR therapy may be able to help. EMDR is a relatively new type of therapy that has been shown to be effective in helping people heal from trauma.
EMDR therapy can also help to increase self-compassion. This is an important skill for anyone who has experienced a loss.
Self-compassion can help to:
- reduce self-blame
- increase self-care
- improve coping skills
Grief process can be very exhausting. One of my clients referred grief as a tiring unpaid job!
Traumatic grief can often lead to physical symptoms, such as pain and fatigue. EMDR therapy can help to restore the healing relationship of your mind with your body. This can help to reduce the physical symptoms that are caused by trauma and grief.
It is important to remember that each person’s experience with traumatic grief is unique. Not everyone will experience all of the benefits listed above. However, EMDR therapy has been shown to be an effective treatment for traumatic grief.
Final Thoughts
Unbearable grief can feel like an inconsolable experience, but you deserve the chance to overcome it. Luckily, there are so many options that can help with grief. No matter the reasons behind your unbearable grief, learning what to do when grief is unbearable will help set you on the right path. However, even then, you’ll still need time to recover.
Remember, there’s no set time for how long severe grief will last. As such, this is your own journey. Luckily, your therapist can be there to stand by your side to help with your recovery process.