It can be particularly challenging to work with sexual abuse victims when years later they carry self-negative beliefs about themselves and a lot of self-blame and shame.\u00a0 We say in psychology that feelings of guilt and shame are the two hardest feelings the human being can live with. \u00a0During sexual abuse therapy, the aim is to neutralize the self-blame and to get rid of the feeling of guilt and shame.<\/p>\n
I hear it very often from the victims of abuse.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is all my fault, I am bad and I deserve this. \u00a0I have brought this on myself and I should be ashamed of myself. \u00a0I should be punished\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n
A lot of people who went through the abuse cannot bear talking about their experiences because they flashback to this part of the abuse where they feel so disgusting and dirty, and this makes it difficult for them to talk.<\/p>\n
In this case, I use the technique which I call \u2018\u2019A perfect carer\/nurturer guided imagery\/hypnosis\u2019\u2019 when the client needs to imagine the rewriting their story to the story with a much better outcome, rather than talking about their story.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
To start with I would make sure the client feels comfortable and safe asking them to think of their peaceful place where they feel relaxed and calm.<\/p>\n
I can use Bilateral Stimulation (tapping on the client\u2019s knees) to enhance the feeling of relaxation and safety.<\/p>\n
Then I would ask them to imagine how would their own best version of the perfect carer look like.<\/p>\n
So, the client who survived sexual abuse can create a picture in their mind.<\/p>\n
The next step would be to ask the client: “What do you think if we brought your \u201cperfect carer\u201d now what do you think they would say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Then I would gently engage the client in the imagery exercise, and I might ask:<\/p>\n
“What does your \u201cperfect carer\u201d think about what you went through? \u00a0What do they want you to know? \u00a0How does she\/he think, would be most helpful for you to think and feel? \u00a0And what would have to happen for you to be able to do that?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Using the imagery as our main work in sexual abuse treatment, in this case, it is like a magic vehicle, allowing accessing a different perspective that doesn’t seem to be that easily accessible when the mind is traumatized.<\/p>\n
Very often the traumatized mind goes to blaming thoughts. \u00a0And then the client spirals into the negative thoughts, images and feel very distressed by them.<\/p>\n
By imagining and changing the imagery bit by bit, step by step the client is in control. \u00a0The client feels empowered to recreate the whole story which is very therapeutic.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“You know what, when I hear you blaming yourself for this, I feel really sad for you. \u00a0But I want you to know this is not your fault. \u00a0What you went through can easily explain why you feel those feelings of shame and humiliation. \u00a0But I do not want you to feel that feeling. \u00a0I just want you to remember that this is a sad, horrible experience that you went through, and I am here to support you with every step you make from now on. From now on we will be like a strong team you and me and I will support you all the way and will pick you up in case if you take a step backwards\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And I think one of the most important things is that the \u201cperfect carer\u201d imagery, brings up sadness and grief to start with rather than shame and guilt.<\/p>\n
This might feel like a sad experience for the client but because that is when we start to recover, we connect with the sadness of the events, that’s when we start the grief process.<\/p>\n
When people start to connect with sadness, then things are moving. \u00a0The things then start shifting to the positive healing the wounds eventually.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It can be particularly challenging to work with sexual abuse victims when years later they carry self-negative beliefs about themselves and a lot of self-blame and shame.\u00a0 We say in psychology that feelings of guilt and shame are the two hardest feelings the human being can live with. \u00a0During sexual abuse therapy, the aim is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6846,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[88,90,89,91,93,87,95,92,94],"class_list":["post-6845","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-trauma","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-guided-imagery","tag-hypnosis","tag-perfect-carer","tag-recovery-after-abuse","tag-sexual-abuse","tag-survivor-of-abuse","tag-therapy-for-sexual-abuse","tag-trauma-therapy"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n