We all know what to do when a car breaks down—you call a mechanic, get it towed, and pray it won’t cost your entire month’s salary. But when a person breaks down, it’s not that simple. You can’t just grab a wrench, change their oil, and send them back on the road. People don’t need spare parts; they need care, love, patience, and sometimes professional help.
So how do you actually help someone close to you when life feels too heavy for them?
Understanding a Human Breakdown
When someone is struggling, it doesn’t always look the same. Some people cry, others get quiet, and some show anger over the smallest things. Anxiety may make them restless, worried, and unable to relax. Depression can make them feel empty, drained, and disconnected from life.
Unlike a car, humans don’t have a blinking “check engine” light. Their warning signs might be:
- Avoiding people they love.
- Feeling irritated for no reason.
- Talking less and sleeping more.
- Saying things like “I just don’t care anymore.”
These are not signs of weakness. They’re signals that your loved one is carrying more than they can handle.
Be Present, Not Perfect
When a friend or family member is breaking down, the most powerful thing you can do is be there. You don’t need fancy words or magical solutions. You just need to sit with them, listen, and let them know they’re not alone.
Often, people don’t want you to solve their problems—they just want you to hear them. Even saying something simple like, “I’m here for you, even if you don’t feel like talking,” can mean more than you think.
The Fuel They Need
When a car runs out of fuel, it stops. People, too, need fuel to keep going. But our fuel is made of things like kindness, encouragement, patience, and understanding.
Here are some small ways to “refuel” someone who feels broken down:
- Invite them for a short walk in the fresh air.
- Share a meal together without pressure to talk.
- Remind them gently of their strengths.
- Help with small tasks that feel overwhelming for them.
It’s not about grand gestures. Sometimes, sitting together in silence can be the comfort they need.
Don’t Force a Quick Fix
It’s tempting to say things like:
- “Just cheer up.”
- “It could be worse.”
- “Snap out of it.”
But these phrases can do more harm than good. They sound like pressure, not support. Healing from anger, anxiety, or depression doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient. Be steady. And most importantly, remind them that it’s okay to take time.
When Professional Help is Needed
If your car has a serious problem, you don’t fix it yourself—you go to a mechanic. The same goes for mental health. You cannot always repair your loved one on your own. And that’s okay.
Encourage them to talk to a counselor, therapist, or doctor. Say something like, “I’ll go with you if you want,” so they don’t feel alone. Professional help can make a huge difference.
EMDR: A Useful Tool for Healing
One form of therapy that has helped many people is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It’s often used for people who carry deep emotional pain or trauma. In simple words, EMDR helps the brain process painful memories in a healthier way.
Think of it like this: if the mind keeps replaying a bad memory, EMDR can “unstick” it so the person can move forward. For someone struggling with anxiety, depression, or trauma, this therapy can feel like taking a heavy load off their shoulders.
If your loved one is struggling with past experiences, suggesting EMDR could be a gentle and supportive step.
A Little Humour Helps
Supporting someone doesn’t mean everything has to be serious all the time. Sometimes, a little laughter is the best medicine. Share a silly story, a funny video, or a lighthearted moment. It won’t fix everything, but it reminds your loved one that life still has small joys—even on dark days.
Just be careful—don’t make jokes about their pain. Instead, bring small sparks of laughter into ordinary moments.
Caring Without Burning Out
When someone you love is in pain, you might feel helpless. You may even feel drained yourself. That’s normal. Supporting someone else doesn’t mean forgetting your own needs. Make sure you rest, talk to others you trust, and take care of your own mental health too.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. The stronger you are, the more helpful you’ll be to them.
Final Thoughts
When your car breaks down, you need a mechanic. But when someone close to you breaks down, they don’t need you to repair them. They need you to stand beside them, support them, and guide them to the right help when necessary.
Be patient with their anger, anxiety, and depression. Offer them kindness instead of quick fixes. Bring small moments of comfort and light. And when needed, help them reach out for professional care—maybe even therapies like EMDR.
Because unlike cars, people aren’t meant to be thrown away when they’re broken. They’re meant to be cared for, loved, and reminded that even in their lowest moments, they are not alone.